Ilan

He’s full of life,

no one can deny that,

Full of innocence stay true to his meaning. 

Says the most amazing things,

Has a mischievous imagination, 

Loves to prank, laugh at the stunts he pulls up. 

Loves to entertain, Though get nervous at first, 

Mostly does the unexpected. 

Always life of a party, the little crazy dancer, 

Mind you has a temper to match his folks. 

Rarely seen crying, though when he does its heartbreaking. 

Quite brave though gets scared to cut his nails! 

Countless falls and jumps and knee bangs though never noticed. 

He loves to give crushing hugs and kisses to all over the face. 

Loves to compete and be number 1. 

If he doesn’t win then he believes he failed and lost, 

A little drama king in the making. 

Loves to ride his bicycle, park and the beach are the favorite place to hang. 

He loves his family, big on sharing everything with everyone. 

Especially loves his Iyan kokko and love to share and not to share. 

Loves food, loves to eat out, 

Understanding when told there is no money for toys or take-out. 

Loves to dress to impress the family, all t-shirts’, jeans and watches to match. 

Enjoys being read, playing on the tablet and his cars and blocks, playing & drawing in bed. 

He’s my fireball and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Last 5 years have been wonderful though bumpy at times it’s been, 

the best years of my life. 

Brought so much joy and sometimes pain to people around him, 

(though never intended I hope). 

To relive, to watch this amazing little man growing up,

watching all the smiles and laughter and tears, 

It’s brought the best out of me. 

Thank you God for letting me be his mom. 

Very proud and lucky, to be chosen. 

Love you beyond words, will do my best to keep you happy and bubbly forever. 

Happy birthday my little sweet pea :)

Where I need to be…

This is certainly not the place I need to be, it’s like hell on earth sometimes. This is where all the bad happens, cursing, lying, cheating, stealing, harassing, back stabling, bad mouthing, revenge, list is endless. For some reason one human to another they don’t seem to want the other person to be happy and content with life. Some people it’s all about a competition, to be the best gal, best in studies, best job, and best husband and best of children. As in games unless the opponent is defeated one doesn’t stop. People trying to push people down, make them feel degraded and stressed and unhappy seems to be the goal and the winner turns out to be the people who do anything to achieve the goals. It’s pathetic, this race against each other, need to be number one. One cannot find fault with these kinds of people, if you do you rather build your own coffin and find the place you want to be buried in. Such a gloomy world, everyone is judging, planning and calculating to do better then the other. Forgetting we are here for a reason, to be faithful to God, to learn to wade off the bad and find our way to glory in the after life, certainly not here. The money, the clothes, the place you live does not matter. Essentials yes, but it’s not the most important things in life. The successful in this world believe the people who are losers in this world don’t have the right to speak or be heard, to be angry or to be happy, all they are left with is to be sad and depressed. Some people are just out to get the other people, sabotaging their chance at love and their happiness. It could be equivalent to killing someone, killing someone’s soul.

Little about my darling son

Yesterday after a month long break from school, i got this slip from his aunty, which said parents voice, getting to know their students better about their home, who lives with them, about their speech and confidence. His favorite food, color, place, friend & interest. And i kept looking at the sheet for ages, wondering why did the teachers want to know about them now, rather then when school began and also does knowing their favorites in one word do our kids justice.. if possible can we even describe them in single words. impossible. i guess teachers need to know their least favorites too. So i decided to longer and still i cant write enough about my darling sweetpea. Here is what i wrote to them.

It wouldn’t do justice to write a few words on him, so opting to write a little more about him. Hope Aunties can spare a little time to read.

At home he lives with his grandparents, great grandmother who lives on & off with us and his pet bouncy the cat and pet fishes. His Aunt and cousin visits regularly and also he visits his dad’s grandparents on weekends. He’s got a very fun loving close knit family who loves spending time together. On weekends his distant relatives would visit and he loves having his meals with them. Of course that gives him a great chance to show off his budding new skills, either be riding bicycle or jumping or cart wheels.
He is a late talker and he’s grown very confident during the last months, mimics pretty much everything that’s said at home. He is more fluent in Dhivehi. Instead of ‘R’ he uses ‘L’ in his words. Talks non-stop and would ask a million questions, hearing new words he would ask for meaning.
His favorite color is red; it’s his grandma’s favorite color so he decided it’s his favorite too. He loves red toy cars, red clothes. Pink he describes Barbie’s (girls) color and stays away from pink.
Favorite food would be chicken fried rice; as long as he gets his fried rice he would be content. He likes going to restaurants to have his favorite. He liked it ever since his stay at hotels in India where he regularly had fried rice, therefore calls it “hotel baiy”. Not much of a sweets eater apart from chocolate & ice cream. Least favorite would be raw fruits.
His favorite hang out spot would be currently Birds Park where he gets to drive his remote car. He loves going to the park near the surf point and artificial beach as well. He also loves to visit his relative’s and any where he can run wild.
His closest friend would be K---, S------ & K---. All of them are second cousins and he loves spending time together.
His main interest would be his toy vehicles, cars, trucks, and constructions vehicles, anything with wheels. Loves spending time just driving them around, never goes any where without one, as far as sleeps with his toy vehicles parked near him. Loves watching cartoons mainly the ones with vehicles. Loves riding his bicycle, his cars and likes helping in the kitchen and likes to play with sand. Also loves to paint and being read stories. Least favorite would be dancing gets too shy. Anything dare devilish he loves doing 

- mom -

Questions without answers..

I wanted to write this nice and decent,
But I guess I lost my decency when I cannot,
I cannot sugar coat and make you look like good person when you are not,
Call this what ever you like, rage, letting out.
Do you know the meaning of rights?
Do you think you have the rights to talk about your rights when you gave it up?
What did you do the minute you learnt that I was expecting?
You went and got a dose of what you like best.
How much more was I going to take?
I think I took enough already and I was just hanging by a thread,
And you did the rest; it became very clear we were over,
The extend to what you can do never seize to amazes me,
To think I would choose to give away a precious soul,
How wrong can you get about me?
40 weeks I did on my own, thanks to almighty.
No-show at birth, no-show at naming, no-show for the circumcision, no-show for birthdays,
It’s a shame you don’t even know his birthday or how old he is.
Now why would I inform you when he is sick?
Why would I inform you what he may want?
Why would I want you near him?
And you still talk about rights?
Why do those rights to visit come up occasionally when ever you are bored or sober?
It does not make sense.
Do you have the right to tell me what I should do or what I need in life?
Why is that a problem to you?
We don’t need you, why would you want to be part of our lives.
To make up for what you already lost,
Nobody would believe that, if you keep visiting the jail every now & then,
What kind of role model can you be?
And what does that portray for him when I let you be there on & off.
I’m not supportive of what you are and I shall never be,
You were given the time to chose your pick,
And it looks like you have no choice but to stick to what you have befriended for years.
And I make mine now, and its best you stay away from us.
I’m protecting my own, making sure he has a good life without someone who’s jealous of his happiness and peace.
His not going to miss out on love cause he has got me.

The Frog Prince

This is the story of every boy or girl. Search for the right person, the “solid one” to spend the rest of the life happily ever after. Since childhood with all the fairytale stories we tend to believe the happily ever after really do happen and we all work to achieve that storyline. Everyone tries to find the soul mate and to get married in a fairytale over the top wedding and have babies that look like chubby cupcakes. Think not people that are not how it works in reality. This whole concept is totally wrong; people should not live under this perception. Love is a strong word, a strong feel that could blind your good instincts causing you a lot of heartbreak some times. It is a feeling that could be felt over and over again, if you find someone you like who meets your demands who is sometimes might be your total opposite or same characters it could happen. There no boundaries for it, only society and people set limits to it. You can love someone for years and come to find one day you do not feel the same anymore. End of story, marriages that were built on what they thought was solid foundation falls apart. And the search for the true love begins all over again. Either for a single person or a single mom or dad, people doesn’t know single people. They are the strangers in the society if they do not want companionship. Something is said to be wrong with the single people. It does not matter if they are content in life, and happy with their chosen paths. People expect to find a wrong person again and go through that same headaches and heartache all over again, maybe for a while they might be happy but who can predict future, who can say which relationship last forever and which will will not. What is relationship is about living the moment and when it’s over to let go just as those people came into our lives. Why is it so hard to give up? Why do people think they failed if a relationship ends? Why can’t we believe the fact that relationship ran its course and is over for good? If love is bound to happen let it happen in its time, why change a person’s personality and style to meet the demands in pursue of the finding the mate. I personally feel bad for the all the times I told people right person will come soon to their lives, wishing I did not give such hopeless advise. Being single has been great, put things in the right perspective, on most important things in my life. My priority has been set, on raising my little one to the best person that could be. I don’t want to be a single mom who just after having the baby is out chasing and looking for that right person again. I want to give my undivided attention to the little person who needs his mommy. Not just for now, forever. If you ask me I think relationship is hard work, too much bullshit. I don’t want to talk to some guy and ask away have you had lunch yet, did you just wake up, I don’t want to say I love you every time I hang up, nor do I miss intimacy. Anyways I get plenty of hugs and kisses which sometimes turn into bites from my son so for now that are more then enough to melt my heart. Also that small cute small voices that calls out to me saying mama is hundred times better then some man call me loabi. Some might say I am waiting for the lost love or for some one special to come along but no I am telling the truth when I say I am not looking for my frog.

Where I need to be…

This is certainly not the place I need to be, it’s like hell on earth sometimes. This is where all the bad happens, cursing, lying, cheating, stealing, harassing, back stabling, bad mouthing, revenge, list is endless. For some reason one human to another they don’t seem to want the other person to be happy and content with life. Some people it’s all about a competition, to be the best gal, best in studies, best job, and best husband and best of children. As in games unless the opponent is defeated one doesn’t stop. People trying to push people down, make them feel degraded and stressed and unhappy seems to be the goal and the winner turns out to be the people who do anything to achieve the goals. It’s pathetic, this race against each other, need to be number one. One cannot find fault with these kinds of people, if you do you rather build your own coffin and find the place you want to be buried in. Such a gloomy world, everyone is judging, planning and calculating to do better then the other. Forgetting we are here for a reason, to be faithful to God, to learn to wade off the bad and find our way to glory in the after life, certainly not here. The money, the clothes, the place you live does not matter. Essentials yes, but it’s not the most important things in life. The successful in this world believe the people who are losers in this world don’t have the right to speak or be heard, to be angry or to be happy, all they are left with is to be sad and depressed. Some people are just out to get the other people, sabotaging their chance at love and their happiness. It could be equivalent to killing someone, killing someone’s soul.

Dear Children,

Children are the greatest joy.Little people who can teach us a lot, to be nervous, to be brave and most of all to appreciate life. Sweet little darlings who can break our hearts with a tear, keeps us on our toes. Having a child is like becoming a child again.